Of the Diva's Need for a Napkin

The last week or so, while folding the massive amounts of laundry that these three kids generate, I noticed a recurring stain on many, no, all, of the Diva's shirts. There was a huge stain all around the front neck area, arcing in the shape of a smile.....umm, similar to a bib. Confused was I.

I watched her throughout the day at meal time discovered what was going on. She was pulling up her shirt to use as a napkin. Immediately we started correcting this behavior, showing her how to use a napkin. She quickly informed us she was not interested in doing it our way, thank you very much. We continued to get on her case about it and now I am pleased to say that she properly uses her napkin and not her shirt. There were a couple of days though, where I would catch her looking furtively at us to see if we were watching...


To be completely honest, The Diva's eating "skills" are perhaps among the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I am thinking of having Mike Rowe, of America's Dirtiest Jobs, come and "enjoy" a meal with her.

One reason it is absolutely repulsive is that she puts her tongue INSIDE of her cup while drinking. I do not have a picture of this because it is hard to take a picture WHILST rescuing the table from the deluge that is sure to come from trying to drink this way.

Another reason (and there are many that I am sure I will be so kind as to share with you) is that this girl is already practicing to be a World Record Holder in Chubby Bunny. Or maybe that big hot dog eating contest (which I also find terribly repulsive!). Point is, she STUFFS her mouth with food, to the point that her eyes bulge, and she gets this slightly panicked look in her face. Slowly, she begins to chew and that's where it gets nasty, because it oozes. Whatever is in her mouth oozes out from a sheer lack of room in her little 2.5 year old mouth. I was kind enough to NOT take a picture that showed said "oozage".

BUT....being the Diva that she is, in spite of the fact that this is very UN-diva like behavior, she looked Gooooood while she, ummmm, "ate".

Of Dinner Time Drama

I know that there is meal time drama in most, if not all, families. I am sure we are not the only family that has their 3.5 year old son hop up to the table, carefully examine the contents on his plate, slowly raise his head to look his mom in the eye, and announce, "Mom, we are NOT having a good dinner."

You can just see the slump in Superman's shoulders at this point. One because he carefully coaches the J-Man to THANK mom for the great dinner and this is clearly not a step in the right direction. And two because he knows at this point that meal time will be a long drawn out affair, and not the nice kind of long drawn out affair that some dinners are. Namely, dinners in France without kids.

But dinner time has been even more, ummm, entertaining since The Tank decided she wanted to join us at the table and not be stuck in a corner strapped in a highchair.

Both of our darling female PLO's have a serious affinity for protein. Especially of the animal variety. This is a trait that comes directly from their father. They apparently were born equipped with protein radars, giving them the ability to hone in on any protein on their plates immediately and then to proceed to consume massive amounts of said meat.

Sunday nights are our "Breakfast-As-Dinner" night. You may also read that as: "Mom is too tired to think up and prepare something more creative for dinner" night. Usually we have waffles, hashbrowns, and bacon/sausage.....a nice healthy meal, eh?

This past week, it was bacon rather than sausage and we discovered that The Tank kinda likes bacon just a little. When she had finished what was on her plate, she eyed her daddy's plate for more and screeched, while giving us this perfectly precious face:

You can see the desparation, the greed, and rage in her face there. Lovely. Fortunately for all of us, Dad appeased The Tank....

And she proceeded to eat MORE bacon than her father did. Impressive.

I will have to share The Diva's need for a napkin later, though. The kids are waking from naps and I suppose I should tend to them.

Introductions, Mission Statements, and other Sundry Items.

For starters, I should begin by stating that I have never been unable to find, misplaced, or otherwise lost my kids. In all honesty, this doesn't mean that I haven't at times been tempted. Heh. But, keeping tabs on 3 toddlers, age three and under is NOT an easy job. Oh, yes, and throw in the fact that Precious Little One (PLO) #4 is due any day, and the sheer chaos is complete.

This blog, I suppose, is mainly being attempted for 2 reasons:

1) I know, or least I fervently pray, that someday, SOMEDAY, I will be able to look back at my chaotic existence and laugh. In the midst of grape fights, underwear swapping, and Goldfish smashing parties, I admit at times I cry. But SOMEDAY, it will be funny. Right?

2) The family. I take lots of pictures. I put them on my computer. And there they stay. Never to be printed for the dear family. So now they can see our PLO's (Precious Little Ones) and see that, indeed, perhaps viewing them on blog is the safest, cleanest option.

I make no promises that this mockumentary of life in our home will last more than a week.....not that the chaos won't last more than a week, but that my ability to share it won't.

Superman and I currently have 3.9 PLO's. Yes, I am married to Superman. More on that later, because right now, I am talking about our Precious Little Ones.

PLO #1, the J-Man. Quickly approaching birthday #4 and already planning his birthday party. Including the most important part - what kind of cake he wants. Currently he wants a train cake. But, being that he is my son, he reserves the right to change his mind 15 times between now and the end of May.

PLO #2, The Diva. She is. She really is a diva. At 2.5, this girl knows how wrestle and play in the dirt like the best of them , but dang it, she will look Gooooood while she does it. Her favorite attire is currently skirts and t-shirts with Tinkerbell on them. As it should be, because she IS Tinkerbell. Or at least so she says. And don't try to argue with her....it hurts.

Oh, and she is very serious about her food.


PLO#3, The Tank. Rest assured this is a term of endearment, not a rude reference to her size. Don't be fooled by the cheesy grin or adorable curls. This chickadee can hold her own. Which is good, since she has the Diva and J-Man with which to contend. Not even 1.5 yet, The Tank is the queen of "Snatch and Run". What? Haven't heard of this game? It goes something like this: Snatch your brother and/or sister's favorite play thing and RUN LIKE HECK. It must be really fun to see how irritated they get because The Tank plays this game an AWFUL lot.



PLO#4, We will let you know soon. Hopefully very soon.